You are a very good writer. Hopefully, you are making enough money using your talents. I was also in a similar position. I was with a man for 21 years, unhappy for 15 of them. I still got married, but I was more married to the idea than the man. I never had a deep love for him. We were incompatible on many levels, and yet I continued because I thought this was my lot in life. I realized at one point that I had a choice- I could either stay in the marriage and die, or I can leave the marriage and live. I chose the latter.